Introduction
Pssst… yeah, I’m talking to you. I’m the annoying narrator that will interrupt him, just you watch!
What was that? Whatever… I’m sure I heard a voice on here. Nah, who cares, I’m going to go with the original script.
Yo, he had a script?
Is it just me or are video games spamming movies, because, man, what a few years of these movies. For instance, there’s the
Super Mario Movie in 2023, which actually did pretty well.
Are you serious, it has 59% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Raahhhh!
Don’t listen to critics, they obviously lack some taste. All they eat are rotten tomatoes!
And popcorn.
Anyways, there was also the Five Nights At Freddy’s Movie, which was liked by most of the audience, even featuring the famous Matpat, from the Game Theory! These movies might have all done well, but then there’s the Sonic 3 movie coming up. Needless to say, people were not happy with all the Sonic movies, as it was mostly cheap CGI, or, in other words, computer generated images. Good news is that Sonic is always improving and now made up for some of its failures. This brings me to the Minecraft Movie, a far more popular game than Sonic, Mario, and Five Nights At Freddy’s, with the trailers and teasers dropped, the audience is having mixed thoughts.
Oh boy, this kid is sooo going to ruin this article!
Listen, I’m trying my best to not be biased, okay!? Please bear with me! Please?
…
Hello? (Why did I hire this narrator?)
I heard that.
Cast
Let’s see, we have Emma Myers, Matt Berry, Sebastian Eugene Hansen…
I don’t care! Can we get to the good part?
Fine! Now, one of the most memorable characters is acted by Jack Black for the default character in Minecraft, Steve. Jack Black has appeared in many movies, including Ice Age, Kung Fu Panda movies, (He voice acted Po) and even showed up in The Super Mario Bros. Movie as Bowser.
I…am Steve!
That doesn’t sound as well on this computer text, but yeah, we’ll get to that.
Next up is Jason Momoa, who is going to be a gaming champion named Garrett “Garbage Man” Garrison, who acts as a gaming champion. Jason Momoa is most famous for his act as aquaman.
*Smirk* The writers were feeling creative.
Oh, yeah, and he was wearing a literal blond wig in the movie, and…let’s just say the internet is having…mixed feelings about it.
Award-Winning Comedian Matt Berry is also confirmed to be in it, but it is still unknown what his role is.
Animation
Now, as you can see with scenes of the movie, it is going to be CGI with animated characters and real life people mixed. This is unfortunately, unappealing to most people because they wished for actual Minecraft animation. This actually would’ve solved many problems with it. For example, the proportions are a bit off. Like look at this picture:
Who did this!? Oh, that’s disturbing! Let me look again, hmm…where did I save it again?
Good grief, can you hurry up? Also, we know perfectly well that you put that there for comic relief.
*Sigh*
Oh wait, I found it!
Don’t tell me it’s a goofy llama.
If you didn’t know, the creatures above with tusks are called piglins, basically humanoid hogs who seem to have a grudge on Steve’s village, about to wage war. It’s just that, HOW DOES THAT SWORD DO ANY DAMAGE?
Honestly, it looks like a literal stick. This is because of the “live action” part where the cast holds tools and weapons. Unfortunately, this causes the tools to have to fit in their “small” hands, which causes the CGI to hold the same thing, and you can even see the piglin clinching the sword with his fingernails.
Hmm…Maybe that piglin uses that stick to punish his kids…
No one asked, OKAY!?
I’m sorry but I am known as the annoying narrator, sooo….
Now, pay close attention because there are a lot of things wrong with this picture
(No, it’s not the fact that he has explosives on the top shelf, but I recommend you don’t do that at home either). First of all, the armor that is on left is gold armor, which looks fine from boot to chestplate, but it’s the helmet that throws me off. It’s just weird that the helmet is smaller than all of the other armor pieces, hinting that the casts’ heads are just too small and if it was for all the armor to be the same size, it might look like wearing a box on your head.
Look at those leggings, how does Jack Black even bend his legs?! (And wow, that’s some golden drip right there!)
To be honest, I don’t think the boots will fit him either, sing they are solid blocky gold. Of course, all of this would’ve been solved it there was no CGI in the first place. People also just wanted a classic blocky Minecraft animation, like from game trailers. After all, that is what Minecraft is known for. Secondly, if you aren’t a dedicated Minecraft fan, and you didn’t notice it, that’s fine, but there are boots with wings on them on one of the shelves. This is not in regular Minecraft gameplay, and the feathers just look too realistic. However, after some more digging, I found that those are from Minecraft Dungeons, a spin-off game, and it looks exactly like the boots of swiftness inside the game. (I actually have the game)
Prove it then.
No, and I think we get animation now, moving on.
Can we get some transition music or something?
No, thats out of my budget.
Memes
Look, I’m sorry, but we needed this section. Minecraft has too many MEMES. By the first week of the trailer release, Steve was made fun of for his “introduction”. I personally also agree and think that it was way too…straight to the point. The voice is also catchy, not going to lie, yet the trailers also referenced other memes, like one scene that was similar to the “90% of gamblers quit before winning big” meme and “As a child I yearned for the mines”.
What is that meme? Never heard of it.
I won’t blame you, but apparently, it has to do with loosening child labor.
???!!!…
Why did I include this section?
Overall Plot
Basically, it is about four people who are in trauma drama and can’t deal with their biggest enemy, LIFE.
Very relatable.
Basically, they somehow get hold of a glowy blue cube, that allows them to be transported to the world of Minecraft, where they meet Steve (Jack Black), who has been there for quite while. We don’t know much about the main plot, but we do get a broad synopsis, which explains that the characters are going to encounter a villain, that is theorized to be a piglin, (if you still don’t understand, well too bad).
No, the second picture this dude put on here from top to bottom is a piglin.
Why can’t you let me have some fun?
The piglin is a humanoid boar that carries weapons and appears in another dimension in the game. This would show that the protagonists would have to build a portal and prepare for a boss fight of some sort. This would include lots of mining sessions in caves for diamonds and slashing through waves of regular mobs, (creatures) like zombies or skeletons at night.
Besides that, the main theme of the story (Ms. A would be proud), would most likely have something to do with life lessons, or problem solving. This is because the synopsis specifically mentions that through this journey, the protagonists will use the lessons they learned on the way to deal with real-world trauma.
Conclusion
To wrap this up in a tight knot, I’m actually looking forward to the Minecraft Movie, because it has some very good actors and though the CGI is…questionable, it has improved since the first trailer, with fans complimenting the redemption. As of currently writing this on February 5, there is only 2 months before it releases. So if your interested, you can check it out and tell me juicy spoilers!
He just wants to save money.
Anyways, I guess this is the end, please like like and subscribe(even though you can’t) and comment if you are interested or want to give that annoying narrator a raise.
I personally would like that, but I’d rather have Kevin fired.
Hey!
